There are many names given to this phenomenon.
Crush, Attraction, Lust, Puppy Love.
Dictionary describes it as "foolish or all-absorbing passion", we all seem to agree, don't we?
In fact there is so much written about love and puritan nature of it through the ages that somewhere the infatuation has been unduly relegated to a more shallow or transient role in the paradigm of amorous relationships.
Infatuation is a far more exciting state of heart and mind than love. That tinge of insecurity, coupled with humongous amounts of passion. The dream fueled state of what could be. Its engaging, heart breaking, exciting, frustrating and an amalgamation of undefined emotions all at once.
Now, there could be a counter argument to this but there is no denying that infatuation is in fact a stepping stone towards love. But this is popular theory. love compared to infatuation is a more relaxed and measured state of mind. Its comforting and cozy but it also is complacent. And thats my problem with love.
You could love some one, in fact you love a lot of people. your mother, father, siblings, wife, dog..and not necessarily in that order. But you could not feel the same love for every one. its nature and ways of expressing differ. Now some people would say love is complex. I'd have to say NO.
Love is simple, uncomplicated. Beautiful but not as engaging as an infatuation. the point I'm driving here is that Love and infatuation are two entirely different emotions. For an amorous relationship to work a heady mix of both are required.
What is a relationship between a woman and a man, if it is not exciting, heartbreaking , elevating, depressing, passionate, unreasonable, dreamy, unreal, comforting yet unpredictable..........and all of it at once. Love can be comforting to a great degree but without the unpredictable and foolish nature of infatuation, it is not complete.
Ask couples who have been together by choice and not by compulsion. What makes them click?
A full 100% of them would say that the sheer excitement of being with each other. now they may not call it being infatuated with each other but it means that same word.
What is disappointing that infatuation is regarded as foolish as it is considered transient. But then all good things are rare. So now I ask you... is it true love or true infatuation? Imagine feeling the butterflies in the stomach, that funny bittersweet feeling when you wake up and see the person sleeping next to you. That feeling of being on the tenterhooks, that feeling of putting your best foot forward. That feeling of seeing or being able to see no wrong in your companion. when even their flaws add to their charm. Can many of us do it for the rest of our lives? No. But the one who can. Ask them what it feels like to be infatuated.
love does not conquer all, but love mixed with infatuation surely does.
Every body says " I love you" , very few people say "I'm infatuated by you". I would rather be infatuated with someone for the rest of my life.
But thats me, As for you....it's a free country. Right?
2 comments:
bro..liked it, and would have loved it all the more if i was not married ;-) but i'm going to look at it this way...waht if someone who is in love gets infactuated with the same person on and on? maybe that will also be a good recipe for a love infactuated person?
Lets say you are a child - you look through the display window in a toy store and you see a toy you desire, but don't have the money to buy - that is infatuation.... material desire to possess.
Love is very different because when you love somebody you start losing yourself. To love somebody is to lose your ego, to be lost. To love somebody is to give power to somebody over you, to be possessed.
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